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nyanderenekoWord Count: 1,283
Summary: He wants to know about the moment she realized she was in love with him, and she finds herself a little overwhelmed by the question…but not averse to answering it.
*Author’s Note*: This is another warm up prompt based on one of those writing sentence starter posts, my go to when I don’t know what to write. I’ve been trying to tweak Fushimi’s characterization a little since I usually feel like I write him way too OOC, and I’d like to take steps to rectify that a bit. Other than that, this is just another sweet little drabble, I hope you enjoy!
“When did you realize you were in love with me?”
His question startled her. For a moment, Nova considered turning it back on him. It was only fair for her to want to know what his perspective was, too. But she decided to humor him instead, mainly because it was rare for him to be so up front about things like this. If he was feeling brave enough to broach the subject, clearly there must have been something more on his mind, an ulterior motive lurking beneath the words that she may have a chance of glimpsing if she indulged his curiosity this time around.
“That’s a good question.” She needed a moment to adequately collect her jumbled thoughts. “I thought you were attractive to begin with, as embarrassing as that is to admit.”
“Unrealistic, too,” he added, and she rolled her eyes.
“Hey, I’m the one answering, aren’t I?” Fushimi held a hand up in surrender. “So, there was that. When we first met, you just kept glaring daggers at me, and I got flustered and a little scared.”
“Did you actually think I’d do something right then and there in front of the Captain?”
“Do you want to tell this story instead?” she huffed. “And no, of course not. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try to get rid of me the moment no one was watching.”
Apparently, she’d finally made him speechless, so she continued. “As much as you wished he wouldn’t put us together, and you made that perfectly clear, I couldn’t help thinking the same. To save myself, if nothing else. And I know you didn’t think very highly of me, you were just annoyed that all this responsibility was suddenly thrust upon you. Knowing what I know now, it makes a little more sense…but I’m glad you’ve softened up a bit.”
Again, he was silent, and she tried to glean as much as she could from his carefully guarded expression. “Aside from all that, after I started spending more time with you, being forced to at first…I was surprised that you were kind of reasonable. Still really pushy and overbearing and passive aggressive all at the same time, but you didn’t actually try to do anything to get rid of me or anything like that. I figured I was probably in the clear at that point…and then I guess it was kind of a natural progression. You were the first person I spent any meaningful time with around here, and by virtue of your position you ended up showing me a lot more than just the basics of battle. I got used to this place at the same time I was getting used to you, and I couldn’t help taking some comfort in you by default. I mean, again, it wasn’t like I didn’t like you at all to begin with—”
“And you got in my face about proving yourself, too,” he reminded, but his tone wasn’t as lighthearted as she expected it to be. Was he secretly upset about something? If that was the case, she wished he’d just come out and say it.
“Once I realized I was one of, if not the only person you had this kind of dynamic with, I don’t know, it made me feel special. I appreciated all the time you took to make sure I was doing things properly, even if you were really just doing your job. And I liked knowing that despite your attitude, you couldn’t have truly hated me or anything, because if you did you would have done everything in your power to get out of it, even with the Captain’s orders.”
He mulled her words over as she tried to get the conversation back on track. “Sorry, I guess none of that actually answers your question. I think I became definitively aware of my feelings after I found out about your scar and stuff. And I know that doesn’t make much sense, but…I don’t know, it was nice to know you had trouble fitting in, too. Because clearly you don’t have a problem here, now; far from it. And despite your past you took the opportunity to let yourself breathe a little in this place, and others around you compromised as much as they could.
“After going through all I did and finding out that the person I’d been basically handed to might also have more in common with me as a result of both our experiences…I didn’t want to leave you in any sense of the word. I wanted to be near you, you made me feel comfortable and safe. A lot of it happened without me realizing it, and probably because I didn’t take the initiative to stop before my feelings got too out of hand. But anyway. I guess that’s when I noticed it for myself and tried to accept it. When I started viewing you as more of a partner than a teacher or mentor. Of course, I wasn’t going to try to impose any of that on you, because I was under the impression you didn’t want anything to do with feelings like that.”
“I didn’t,” he admitted. “And even now I don’t, in a general sense. But it doesn’t necessarily feel the same when it comes to you…so I let it slide. And I guess that means I’m alright with it, since I’m the one who made the move that got us here in the first place.”
“You did.” She smiled and quirked her head to the side as a few fond memories drifted by. “You caught me off guard one way after another that night…but I’m glad you did. And I know it’s selfish of me to be relieved that you ended up being okay with this, because it just makes things better for me in the long run—”
“Clearly it does the same for me, to some extent,” he mused. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered.”
“I know.”
Fushimi wasn’t in the habit of going out of his way for anyone else, undertaking tasks that didn’t benefit him. She understood why, and she usually tried not to push those boundaries…but when he was the one making the decision, obviously that was an entirely different matter. And she didn’t like undermining all he had given up and sacrificed, the numerous choices he’d made for the sake of others, some that none but him would ever truly be aware of. He was kinder than he gave himself credit for, and most of their associates agreed, even if their experiences with him had started out rocky. Maybe it was impossible to say he was a “good person” outright, but he certainly wasn’t a bad one.
“Do you mind if I ask you the same question?” she prodded, and he chuckled softly at her request.
“Maybe some other time.”
“That’s not very fair.”
He leaned towards her; eyes resolute with finality as they reinforced his decision. Caressing the side of her face, then connecting their foreheads, his penultimate gesture was the soft and subtle joining of their lips. She was going to let him win this time, anyway, but she would be sure to remember this exchange. She wanted to know what had inspired him to bring up such a subject in the first place, and what he ultimately thought about her answer. Eventually she hoped to drag one out of him as well. If he wanted to be cryptic this time around, she could deal with that. She’d dealt with worse things before, after all, even things involving him. But the one thing she was most thankful to avoid was the possibility of not having him at all.
Summary: He wants to know about the moment she realized she was in love with him, and she finds herself a little overwhelmed by the question…but not averse to answering it.
*Author’s Note*: This is another warm up prompt based on one of those writing sentence starter posts, my go to when I don’t know what to write. I’ve been trying to tweak Fushimi’s characterization a little since I usually feel like I write him way too OOC, and I’d like to take steps to rectify that a bit. Other than that, this is just another sweet little drabble, I hope you enjoy!
_____
“When did you realize you were in love with me?”
His question startled her. For a moment, Nova considered turning it back on him. It was only fair for her to want to know what his perspective was, too. But she decided to humor him instead, mainly because it was rare for him to be so up front about things like this. If he was feeling brave enough to broach the subject, clearly there must have been something more on his mind, an ulterior motive lurking beneath the words that she may have a chance of glimpsing if she indulged his curiosity this time around.
“That’s a good question.” She needed a moment to adequately collect her jumbled thoughts. “I thought you were attractive to begin with, as embarrassing as that is to admit.”
“Unrealistic, too,” he added, and she rolled her eyes.
“Hey, I’m the one answering, aren’t I?” Fushimi held a hand up in surrender. “So, there was that. When we first met, you just kept glaring daggers at me, and I got flustered and a little scared.”
“Did you actually think I’d do something right then and there in front of the Captain?”
“Do you want to tell this story instead?” she huffed. “And no, of course not. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try to get rid of me the moment no one was watching.”
Apparently, she’d finally made him speechless, so she continued. “As much as you wished he wouldn’t put us together, and you made that perfectly clear, I couldn’t help thinking the same. To save myself, if nothing else. And I know you didn’t think very highly of me, you were just annoyed that all this responsibility was suddenly thrust upon you. Knowing what I know now, it makes a little more sense…but I’m glad you’ve softened up a bit.”
Again, he was silent, and she tried to glean as much as she could from his carefully guarded expression. “Aside from all that, after I started spending more time with you, being forced to at first…I was surprised that you were kind of reasonable. Still really pushy and overbearing and passive aggressive all at the same time, but you didn’t actually try to do anything to get rid of me or anything like that. I figured I was probably in the clear at that point…and then I guess it was kind of a natural progression. You were the first person I spent any meaningful time with around here, and by virtue of your position you ended up showing me a lot more than just the basics of battle. I got used to this place at the same time I was getting used to you, and I couldn’t help taking some comfort in you by default. I mean, again, it wasn’t like I didn’t like you at all to begin with—”
“And you got in my face about proving yourself, too,” he reminded, but his tone wasn’t as lighthearted as she expected it to be. Was he secretly upset about something? If that was the case, she wished he’d just come out and say it.
“Once I realized I was one of, if not the only person you had this kind of dynamic with, I don’t know, it made me feel special. I appreciated all the time you took to make sure I was doing things properly, even if you were really just doing your job. And I liked knowing that despite your attitude, you couldn’t have truly hated me or anything, because if you did you would have done everything in your power to get out of it, even with the Captain’s orders.”
He mulled her words over as she tried to get the conversation back on track. “Sorry, I guess none of that actually answers your question. I think I became definitively aware of my feelings after I found out about your scar and stuff. And I know that doesn’t make much sense, but…I don’t know, it was nice to know you had trouble fitting in, too. Because clearly you don’t have a problem here, now; far from it. And despite your past you took the opportunity to let yourself breathe a little in this place, and others around you compromised as much as they could.
“After going through all I did and finding out that the person I’d been basically handed to might also have more in common with me as a result of both our experiences…I didn’t want to leave you in any sense of the word. I wanted to be near you, you made me feel comfortable and safe. A lot of it happened without me realizing it, and probably because I didn’t take the initiative to stop before my feelings got too out of hand. But anyway. I guess that’s when I noticed it for myself and tried to accept it. When I started viewing you as more of a partner than a teacher or mentor. Of course, I wasn’t going to try to impose any of that on you, because I was under the impression you didn’t want anything to do with feelings like that.”
“I didn’t,” he admitted. “And even now I don’t, in a general sense. But it doesn’t necessarily feel the same when it comes to you…so I let it slide. And I guess that means I’m alright with it, since I’m the one who made the move that got us here in the first place.”
“You did.” She smiled and quirked her head to the side as a few fond memories drifted by. “You caught me off guard one way after another that night…but I’m glad you did. And I know it’s selfish of me to be relieved that you ended up being okay with this, because it just makes things better for me in the long run—”
“Clearly it does the same for me, to some extent,” he mused. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered.”
“I know.”
Fushimi wasn’t in the habit of going out of his way for anyone else, undertaking tasks that didn’t benefit him. She understood why, and she usually tried not to push those boundaries…but when he was the one making the decision, obviously that was an entirely different matter. And she didn’t like undermining all he had given up and sacrificed, the numerous choices he’d made for the sake of others, some that none but him would ever truly be aware of. He was kinder than he gave himself credit for, and most of their associates agreed, even if their experiences with him had started out rocky. Maybe it was impossible to say he was a “good person” outright, but he certainly wasn’t a bad one.
“Do you mind if I ask you the same question?” she prodded, and he chuckled softly at her request.
“Maybe some other time.”
“That’s not very fair.”
He leaned towards her; eyes resolute with finality as they reinforced his decision. Caressing the side of her face, then connecting their foreheads, his penultimate gesture was the soft and subtle joining of their lips. She was going to let him win this time, anyway, but she would be sure to remember this exchange. She wanted to know what had inspired him to bring up such a subject in the first place, and what he ultimately thought about her answer. Eventually she hoped to drag one out of him as well. If he wanted to be cryptic this time around, she could deal with that. She’d dealt with worse things before, after all, even things involving him. But the one thing she was most thankful to avoid was the possibility of not having him at all.