Equal Ground

[nyandereneko]

Word Count: 1,928

Summary: A predictable slew of flirty shenanigans ensues while Ren and Nova are out on an afternoon stroll.

*Author’s Note*: This turned out…quite differently than I anticipated, but I ended up not even following the plot I had planned. That’s alright though, because while I was editing this I realized…idk, it just sounded so. Genuine lol. So sweet. It’s the first piece in a while that’s actually made me feel good about one of my selfships, and just thinking about Ren’s smile only lifts my spirits more. We really are a mess when it comes to reassuring each other, though. I hope you enjoy!

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The afternoon sun was bright and pleasant, but nothing could compare to the warmth in the hand she held. She knew it would have been more fitting to compare him to the moon or stars, the nighttime phenomena that reflected his mysterious, misleadingly reserved personality. But even when he was being coy and enigmatic, his eyes never failed to blaze with the blinding light of his conviction. Whether it be in the real world or the Metaverse, his expression often betrayed a hint of something fiercer, a chained beast kept subdued with the potential to wreak havoc at the slightest lapse of composure. It was an ambitious and driven and decisive flame, the confident air of a leader. Even if he hadn’t asked for such a role, that’s what he’d always been, suppressing a dormant desire that required just the right circumstances to be kindled. He’d managed to lead her into this new chapter of her life with ease, minus the road bumps she’d foolishly curated for herself, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to make things up to him in the way he deserved.

“Thanks for going out with me today.” His words were unexpected, and they made her heart flutter with elation. “I know you prefer to stay in, especially when the weather’s like this, but—”

“Ah, no, thank you for encouraging me to go out in the first place,” she insisted, holding up her other hand. “I’m lazy and introverted to a fault, and I know I don’t get out as much as I should. But having the incentive of going out with you…that makes things a little more worth it, a little more appealing. So, thank you for giving me an excuse to do something useful for once.”

“You really shouldn’t talk about yourself like that,” he chided, stopping in his tracks and cupping her face so she couldn’t turn away. “It makes me sad to hear someone so important to me speak so lowly about themselves.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll do my best to stop for now,” she assured, her cheeks heating up of their own accord the longer he held them.

His grasp was so tender, so careful around her face, even the way he ran his thumbs across her skin felt gentle and deliberate. He’d positioned her so that she could see clearly into his dark, infinite eyes, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Although she couldn’t help feeling vulnerable under his indecipherable scrutiny, his glamorous visage distracted her, and she was sure he’d meant to do that, knowing exactly what kind of influence she was most susceptible to. When his gaze softened, highlighted by the love that words often fell short of, it was hard for her to keep her breathing steady and prevent her knees from giving out.

“I wish I could get you to stop altogether,” he murmured, trailing his fingers through her dark strands before reluctantly relinquishing his grasp. “But I understand why I can’t. That just means I get to be that much more adamant about complimenting you and encouraging you when I can.”

“You already do that plenty, I promise,” she asserted, slotting her fingers through his own before he could completely withdraw his hand. “I really do appreciate you taking me out today. It’s nice to see some fresh scenery every now and again. Especially when I’m so used to being in dim restaurants or desolate subway tunnels of doom.”

“Is that how you’d describe them?” he laughed, resuming their leisurely stroll. “I guess that’s not too off the mark.”

“It’s the most accurate possible description,” she played along, stepping closer to him as she shifted to hug his whole arm. “There’s no denying it, and I’m not accepting criticism.”

“That’s fine, as long as you lump criticism of yourself in there with it.” He turned her tactic turned against her, she sighed and left his words to linger.

As much as she struggled to accept his passive attempts to thwart her negativity, she really was grateful for them. Normally no one else would bother to stand by her so unwaveringly and combat her skewed thinking again and again; especially not for as long as he had. But he’d always been different, a patient and discerning person that was slow to judge and even slower to enact any kind of punishment. He’d helped her push through so many obstacles, scale mountains big and small, even ones that proved tenaciously and frustrating persistent. He did his best not to lose his temper with her, not to yell or complain or storm off, no matter how ridiculous she was being. She always did what she could to make it up to him afterwards and had made strides in removing herself before she could end up taking things out on him, whether she meant to or not. He certainly didn’t deserve it, and she was quite confident she didn’t deserve him.

He wouldn’t let her cling to empty, useless thoughts like that, and at this point she didn’t know what she’d do without him. His aid and perseverance were her saving grace. No longer left alone to wallow in her own self-loathing and hopelessness, just knowing he was there was enough to lift her spirits when she was struggling. She had a whole group of friends that didn’t want her to suffer alone or return to the nightmare her mind had once become as her Palace was left to persist and expand. They’d seen the most horrid parts of her psyche, and yet still refused to leave her to drown in that despair. Such kind souls, individuals who had endured their fair share of hardships and injuries…how precious they were to her now. How precious they would continue to be.

“It really is pretty out today.” It seemed like a random observation, but as Nova turned to see where Ren had currently fixed his gaze, she quickly understood his meaning.

The landscape around them was so vibrant and pristine, a tame forest of color whose charms were only accented by the golden sunbeams they were bathed in. A small pond lay not far off the path they were following, its surface rippling in the wind and glittering with pricks of sunlight that happened to reflect off the clear, mirror-like drops. Even in the heart of the city, peaceful scenes like this could still be found, emanating an atmosphere completely devoid of traces of the bustling metropolis that towered around them. Looking up at him, Nova examined her boyfriend’s own striking aura, involuntarily squeezing his arm and redirecting his attention.

“Everything alright?”

“You look really pretty, too.”

Well, maybe that hadn’t been the best thing to say. Diverting her eyes in an instant, she covered her mouth with her free hand and tried to organize some semblance of a valid excuse. It was a considerably ridiculous, immature thing to say, but she hadn’t been thinking clearly enough to keep the words from unceremoniously tumbling out of her mouth. She stiffened as his hand found her face again, tilting it up until he could clearly examine her timid, apologetic expression.

“I’ll only accept that compliment if you accept the same from me,” he proposed, lightly pressing his lips against her forehead until he replaced them with his own. “It’s really sweet of you to say that, by the way.”

“I think it’s only fair,” she murmured, feeling her heart start to race at his proximity. “For me to say things like that, I mean. You’re always reminding me how wonderful I am, I have to make sure I keep up with your pace.”

“It’s not a competition,” he chuckled, pulling her closer by the waist.

“Maybe not, but it is something I think can turn unfair,” she explained. “If it’s only ever one sided, if only one person is expected to do all the work…”

“You’ve never made me feel that way,” he countered, leaning back and bringing one of her hands up to leave a kiss on the back. “I’m not sure you could do something like that if you tried.”

“I try to be cautious about it,” she agreed, retaliating by drawing his hand near to leave a kiss of her own. “But you know, I think people are going to start to stare if we just keep standing here, cryptically mumbling back and forth and kissing each other’s hands.”

“Good,” he replied with an impish grin. “I like the attention.”

His eyes twinkled with mischievous amusement as he leaned in for a swift, playful kiss, and she reached up to ruffle his hair in exasperation. “You’re the worst, certifiably the worst, why do I even agree to be seen in public with you like this?”

“Probably because you like showing off a little, too,” he baited, and she fought against her instinct to vehemently deny his provocative claim. Even if he was right and she did find some small measure of happiness in being with him, it wasn’t something she wanted to consciously think about. It made her feel silly and childish and selfish…but she was all of those things, and all he did was play along. Inciting that kind of behavior from her, exploiting it…he was always more observant than she gave him credit for. Always more devious than she expected, but not in any truly malicious way. She liked that he could read her, even if she didn’t always like what he found, relieved that she could even trust someone enough to be so vulnerable with them.

“Obviously the sunlight’s starting to get to you. We should think about heading back,” she abruptly changed the subject, setting off and dragging him along after her.

He easily kept up with her pace, a knowing, self-satisfied smirk still plastered on his features. “You’re the one who started it by saying I was pretty, you know?”

“I know I played into your hands like always, for some unknown reason I’m still hopelessly oblivious of.”

“It just makes me happy to hear you say you like spending time with me,” he admitted, and her stride noticeably slowed. “And to hear you say you like me in general. It’s nice to be reminded I’m not the only one that’s head over heels.”

“That’s not even something you have to question,” she defended fervently, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

“Maybe not, but it still makes me happy to hear,” he said with a shrug. “It wasn’t like it was something I could always take for granted. It’s not like it’s something I want to take for granted at all.”

“It’s something I never want you to have to question or doubt,” she replied, looking at him more directly. “You really don’t have to, and I’ll remind you as much as you want, as many times as you want—”

“As long as you’ll do the same,” he suggested, connecting their foreheads again. “No questioning or doubting and being honest if you need or want to be reminded. Because this really does go both ways, we’re on equal ground—”

“I know, I know,” she interrupted, shifting to rest her head against his chest. “I know you’re still here because you love me, you do all of this because you love me. I’m still doing my best to accept it.”

He patted her head, giving her hair a few reassuring strokes. “Your best is all I can ask for. And thank you for giving me the chance to offer you my best, too.”