Separation
Oct. 21st, 2019 08:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyanderenekoWord Count: 898
Summary: When he leaves, all she wants to do is follow. Instead she’ll just have to settle for serving as an incentive for him to return.
*Author’s Note*: I’m fairly certain I’ve actually written another Mordecai fic almost exactly like this…but the internal commentary and discussion between the two is obviously different. I’d already drafted it before I realized my error, so I decided it couldn’t hurt to keep it, it’s not like this kind of exchange is an isolated incident anyway.
“He’s sending you out on another one?”
Nova didn’t have to ask…she did so out of habit. It was partly just to get him talking, to see if she could get a more personal response from him. But Mordecai didn’t have a lot of personal feelings about anything, at least none he was willing to share. She’d coaxed him to mention a few words about himself here and there, random and rare occasions that she liked to think she was getting better at facilitating. Not because she wanted to manipulate him in any way, but because she wanted to understand him…because she wanted to be close to him.
She was always careful not to prod too aggressively or persistently, lest he shell up altogether like he was accustomed to doing, his default state. He wasn’t keen on anyone getting close to him, even those--or rather, the one person she knew of--he looked up to most. Atlas must have known more about his past than he’d been inclined to admit when he’d introduced them, and Mitzi had passed on her own tidbits in private. She liked to pick at Mordecai, so doing things that irritated him was her speciality, but she seemed genuinely invested in giving Nova advice and supporting her friend.
“Of course. That’s what I’m here for.”
For secret trips, devious schemes communicated behind the scenes that the rest of the Lackadaisy’s employees probably had a hunch about, but never dug too deep for the details. That kind of information was meant to remain classified between the parties it pertained to directly, as much as Nova wished that wasn’t the case. Or maybe it was better this way, since she was still clueless as to the nature of what was being concealed behind that heavy, foreboding curtain. She’d had her own fair share of experience with these kind of underground dealings back when she’d been learning from her father, and she’d never been very fond of the methods or results.
She could sense that there was something ominous, or perhaps more than one thing, that tormented Mordecai on a more personal level. She wasn’t convinced she wanted to get to the bottom of that mystery, either…she cared about him, worried about him, but getting too close could end up leaving her scarred by whatever beast he was wrestling with as well. But if he was really worth her concern, her care, then whatever kind of consequence she may incur wasn’t nearly as important as knowing for his sake, uncovering the truth to determine what more she could do for him.
“I hope you have a safe trip.” It was a paltry attempt at well wishing, the best she could muster with her mind so distracted by thoughts of what would happen if this was the end. If he didn’t come back this time, or what did come back was the shell of a man even more helpless than who he was now. Her fingers dug into her arms as she brought herself back to reality, forcing herself to give him her attention out of courtesy if nothing else.
“I’m confident it won’t be any more dangerous than the rest.” Her whole body clenched. “As standard as anything else I’ve been tasked with recently.”
“Well, you never know when a wrench might be thrown in the works,” she pointed out, clearing her throat. “It never hurts to be cautious, so please--”
“We’ll be fine.” Unexpected words of reassurance; they made her breath hitch. “And we’ll return as soon as possible. Don’t waste your time worrying when there are much more important matters to attend to.”
It was always a relief to her that he didn’t travel alone, that Viktor would be accompanying him as his literal partner in crime. Sometimes Nova had the slightest twinge of a desire to be the one that tagged along; it wasn’t like she would be completely useless. But she knew how well they worked together, even when they didn’t get along, and not having to help a stranger adjust to their methods or routine would ensure the job went as smoothly as it should, ideally. She was also aware that her vocal fretting probably made him feel a tad uncomfortable, since he shied away from any such sentiments or gestures in both subtle and overt ways. She hoped he accepted just enough of it to know how much she wanted him to return in one piece, how much she needed him to.
“Alright, I’ll leave you to it,” she replied with a tiny wave. She swore she perceived the slightest nod of acknowledgement from him before he turned and took his leave.
She wanted to run after him, to stop him, or go with him as she’d envisioned before. If her staying here served as some sort of additional incentive for him to make it back, alongside the unwavering loyalty he felt towards his employer, maybe that would be enough to satisfy her. But she knew she was ultimately lying to herself, that her heart wouldn’t rest until their temporary separation finally came to an end. Until then she couldn’t do much more than be patient, optimistic, and trust that he knew what he was doing. She’d never had a reason to doubt him before…she could only hope that he wouldn’t end up giving her a reason to start now.
Summary: When he leaves, all she wants to do is follow. Instead she’ll just have to settle for serving as an incentive for him to return.
*Author’s Note*: I’m fairly certain I’ve actually written another Mordecai fic almost exactly like this…but the internal commentary and discussion between the two is obviously different. I’d already drafted it before I realized my error, so I decided it couldn’t hurt to keep it, it’s not like this kind of exchange is an isolated incident anyway.
_____
“He’s sending you out on another one?”
Nova didn’t have to ask…she did so out of habit. It was partly just to get him talking, to see if she could get a more personal response from him. But Mordecai didn’t have a lot of personal feelings about anything, at least none he was willing to share. She’d coaxed him to mention a few words about himself here and there, random and rare occasions that she liked to think she was getting better at facilitating. Not because she wanted to manipulate him in any way, but because she wanted to understand him…because she wanted to be close to him.
She was always careful not to prod too aggressively or persistently, lest he shell up altogether like he was accustomed to doing, his default state. He wasn’t keen on anyone getting close to him, even those--or rather, the one person she knew of--he looked up to most. Atlas must have known more about his past than he’d been inclined to admit when he’d introduced them, and Mitzi had passed on her own tidbits in private. She liked to pick at Mordecai, so doing things that irritated him was her speciality, but she seemed genuinely invested in giving Nova advice and supporting her friend.
“Of course. That’s what I’m here for.”
For secret trips, devious schemes communicated behind the scenes that the rest of the Lackadaisy’s employees probably had a hunch about, but never dug too deep for the details. That kind of information was meant to remain classified between the parties it pertained to directly, as much as Nova wished that wasn’t the case. Or maybe it was better this way, since she was still clueless as to the nature of what was being concealed behind that heavy, foreboding curtain. She’d had her own fair share of experience with these kind of underground dealings back when she’d been learning from her father, and she’d never been very fond of the methods or results.
She could sense that there was something ominous, or perhaps more than one thing, that tormented Mordecai on a more personal level. She wasn’t convinced she wanted to get to the bottom of that mystery, either…she cared about him, worried about him, but getting too close could end up leaving her scarred by whatever beast he was wrestling with as well. But if he was really worth her concern, her care, then whatever kind of consequence she may incur wasn’t nearly as important as knowing for his sake, uncovering the truth to determine what more she could do for him.
“I hope you have a safe trip.” It was a paltry attempt at well wishing, the best she could muster with her mind so distracted by thoughts of what would happen if this was the end. If he didn’t come back this time, or what did come back was the shell of a man even more helpless than who he was now. Her fingers dug into her arms as she brought herself back to reality, forcing herself to give him her attention out of courtesy if nothing else.
“I’m confident it won’t be any more dangerous than the rest.” Her whole body clenched. “As standard as anything else I’ve been tasked with recently.”
“Well, you never know when a wrench might be thrown in the works,” she pointed out, clearing her throat. “It never hurts to be cautious, so please--”
“We’ll be fine.” Unexpected words of reassurance; they made her breath hitch. “And we’ll return as soon as possible. Don’t waste your time worrying when there are much more important matters to attend to.”
It was always a relief to her that he didn’t travel alone, that Viktor would be accompanying him as his literal partner in crime. Sometimes Nova had the slightest twinge of a desire to be the one that tagged along; it wasn’t like she would be completely useless. But she knew how well they worked together, even when they didn’t get along, and not having to help a stranger adjust to their methods or routine would ensure the job went as smoothly as it should, ideally. She was also aware that her vocal fretting probably made him feel a tad uncomfortable, since he shied away from any such sentiments or gestures in both subtle and overt ways. She hoped he accepted just enough of it to know how much she wanted him to return in one piece, how much she needed him to.
“Alright, I’ll leave you to it,” she replied with a tiny wave. She swore she perceived the slightest nod of acknowledgement from him before he turned and took his leave.
She wanted to run after him, to stop him, or go with him as she’d envisioned before. If her staying here served as some sort of additional incentive for him to make it back, alongside the unwavering loyalty he felt towards his employer, maybe that would be enough to satisfy her. But she knew she was ultimately lying to herself, that her heart wouldn’t rest until their temporary separation finally came to an end. Until then she couldn’t do much more than be patient, optimistic, and trust that he knew what he was doing. She’d never had a reason to doubt him before…she could only hope that he wouldn’t end up giving her a reason to start now.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-10-25 12:07 am (UTC)