It's Getting Late
Jun. 19th, 2020 08:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyanderenekoWord Count: 2,842
Summary: From one black cat to another, Nova’s been struggling with her conflicted feelings regarding a complicated relationship she helped cultivate. Despite her better judgment, she’s adopted a routine of airing her concerns to a friendly neighborhood cat that just happens to show up every now and again.
Author’s Note: WOW this fic turned into A Lot, I really wasn’t intending for it to get this long, or even necessarily for it to take the turn it did, but…well, this selfship has been keeping me pretty busy lately. Since I don’t have an official bio typed up yet, I’ll just refer people to this post in case they’re confused where this sudden series is coming from. Also, there’s a little bit of lost context in here, mostly because I didn’t want to try fitting it in. In case it isn’t obvious through other hints, though, in this verse Nova has a complicated home life and actively tries to avoid it. This is something her friend notices and also clearly something she shows in her mannerisms and reactions, whether she’s aware of it or not. I don’t really have much more to say other than thanks for reading, and expect more material for this selfship, because it’s the absolute center of my universe right now lol.
It was a mild evening, the kind she didn’t mind taking a walk in. To be completely honest, recently she’d been looking for almost any excuse to stay out of the house. Thoughts coalesced in her head like a thick fog, obscuring her understanding, overwhelming her faculties. She strode along with a simple look on her face; any common passerby wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Or perhaps they would have found the blank, empty stare unsettling. It certainly felt unsettling, the chill that set in with the fog as it seeped into her brain and bones. Normally she didn’t mind the cold, but right now…frostbite was the last thing she wanted to add to the various maladies assaulting her injured heart.
The sound of a stone chipping to the side drew her attention, and she realized she’d been joined at some point by the black cat that usually wandered this neighborhood. Stopping and stretching out her hand so he could smell her, she did what she could to present him with a smile, although she knew even her best attempt was lacking.
“Hey there, Mr. Kitty. I didn’t expect to see you around here today,” she greeted, a touch of unexpected cheeriness ringing in her voice. “Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, though, since this is where you usually roam around. I guess I’m just in a weird place in general right now.”
Nova pressed her back to the uneven stone wall, sliding down its surface until she hit the ground. The cat perched patiently above her, licking his paw and watching her with a strange gaze, almost as if he could understand her, as if he could have opened his mouth and spoken to her at any moment. Sure, there were plenty of abnormal things in this vast and unknowable world…especially considering the influence of the Gates and the catastrophic incidents that surrounded them. He narrowed his eyes, swishing his tail a few times before curling up on the spot.
The Syndicate agent had been keeping tabs on this unique young woman for a while now. Not necessarily because it was his job, or even because anyone had told him too…he was acting of his own accord. He couldn’t help suspecting that there was something notable about her, something that went beyond the existence of her powers, her bizarre state of being. Hei had already told him plenty about that, and Mao had observed as much himself.
This encounter was just another opportunity for him to investigate, to learn as much as he could beyond the scope of what he thought he understood…although recently, the things she’d been cluelessly confessing to him had become much more personal; quite awkward for him to hear. But he couldn’t blow his cover, couldn’t just come out and tell her the truth…not yet, anyway. That was too risky, too irrational, and Contractors only ever acted on the basis of their survival instincts, right? Even if he knew that wasn’t entirely true, Mao found his paws tied, and made due with his position like he always did.
“They’re on a date tonight,” Nova began, tapping her knee. It was obvious she was compelled to dive right into the confidential information he so desperately longed to avoid. “My friend, Kiko, and that other guy I told you about.”
She paused, twitching an ear as her fingers dug into the fabric of her pants. Everything about her demeanor seemed to indicate that she was hesitant to finish the thought. “You know, Li.”
Oh, if you only knew just how well I know him…Mao thought miserably. You wouldn’t be telling me any of this in the first place, and you’d wish you could take back everything you’ve already said. Lucky for you, I haven’t taken it upon myself to pass on any of the details of your tragic lovesickness, but…even you have to know things can’t keep going on like this forever.
Withholding any physical reaction, internally Mao couldn’t help but feel at least a little sympathetic for the poor girl. She never seemed to stop wandering, always aimlessly following a nonexistent path, blindly trying to steer herself in the right direction. But there was no purpose, no direction. Honestly, ever since he’d been indulging her in these sessions of embarrassing admissions, he’d just found the whole ordeal to be kind of sad. As she continued to speak, Mao prepared for the worst.
By this point he’d already heard too much, but there was no going back now. He just couldn’t seem to break this habit of immature eavesdropping he’d adapted to so readily, and he wasn’t especially tormented by any specific feelings of guilt regarding the part he was playing in the first place. In a way, he’d come to enjoy the gossip, and it gave him an excuse to keep up with her, to make sure she wasn’t secretly causing any trouble for the Syndicate or any other Contractors behind the scenes.
“I don’t know why I care,” she admittedly sheepishly, fingers locked in their inflexible grip. “I mean, I’m happy for my friend and everything. But recently…I don’t know. I just. Don’t like hearing about them hanging out together. I don’t like hearing about what they’re doing. I don’t like knowing they’re growing closer without me. It’s pretty selfish, isn’t it?”
Unfortunately, Mao could kind of sense where this conversation was headed. He’d been following this particular development ever since she’d taken it upon herself to use him as a sounding board for her ever expanding repertoire of cares and complaints. Again, he didn’t really mind. Although in the deepest recesses of his psyche he supposed he probably felt at least a little guilty about hiding the fact that he wasn’t just a passive bystander, not just your average unremarkable alleycat. Unbeknownst to her, he’d probably be leaving their little rendezvous to meet up with the very man she was lamenting about so earnestly. Hell, he interacted with the man she was so conflicted about pretty much every day. He knew him intimately, or at least as intimately as any Syndicate member could know their cohorts. It wasn’t a secret that Nova wanted to know him in that way, too. And so this dreadful, pitiable tragedy continued to play out before the cat’s very eyes.
“I keep thinking that this is what I wanted to happen, that I wanted the best for my friend. But at the same time…” A heavy silence dominated the air, smothering them both with its uncomfortable weight. “There’s just something about him. I don’t know. It’s probably just because I’m lonely, pathetic. Clinging to the first nice thing or person I happen to come across…and he’s a perfectly nice person. He has been every time I’ve interacted with him, anyway. And Kiko certainly never complains. He’s always so accommodating and pleasant. Being around him is like a breath of fresh air, but I can’t help thinking there’s something darker he’s dealing with that he hasn’t told anyone about. That he probably doesn’t want anyone to find out about. I mean, no one understands that feeling better than me.
“And I know there’s no use speculating. It’s stupid, childish. But I find myself thinking of him at the strangest of times. I find myself thinking of him a lot, actually. Passively, actively. I think I’m really starting to like him, which, of course, is already a huge red flag. But I could never hurt my friend, you know? And cheating is absolutely out of the question…that would be assuming he even sees anything worthwhile in me in the first place, which I know is equally impossible. I mean, what could he ever see in someone as worthless as me?”
The slimy, unpleasant sensation of pity stung in his veins, making Mao’s skin crawl. He only felt worse, more sympathetic towards the young woman’s complicated plight. The impulsive thought to just reveal himself had already flitted through his mind, encouraging him to blow his cover and expose everything. But he also knew how dangerous that course of action would be, and that in the end it would likely only serve to bring further ruin to them both. What could this young woman possibly gain by knowing the truth? It would probably only upset her more.
But Mao genuinely felt bad for her, and he was preoccupied more often than he would have liked by the desire to do something for her, to reassure her that she wasn’t imagining things. Or rather to point out that she wasn’t noticing the glaring signs that were there, that she’d been interpreting things all wrong from the start. Contrary to her self-degrading assumptions, she couldn’t have been further off the mark where Hei’s feelings were concerned. But how mortifying would it be for him to reveal that, to her or to Hei? How traumatizing would it turn out to be for everyone involved should he admit everything, explaining how he’d been sitting here all this time, balanced between the precarious, awkward tug of war that happened to be brutally besieging both of their hearts?
“Even knowing all of that, I can’t seem to stop myself,” Nova continued, and Mao braced himself for whatever was to follow. “From liking him, falling for him, that is. God, it’s just…so stupid.” She rubbed her forehead, but from the angle he was sitting Mao couldn’t tell if she’d also managed to discreetly wipe away any tears she may have happened to be shedding as well. The tremor in her voice made him think that his hunch was even more likely.
“Sometimes, I think about the fact that I want to be the one that gets to hug him and kiss him and hold his hand.” She exhaled a humorless laugh between words. “I sound like a whiny schoolgirl, huh? ‘I have a crush on him and it’s just not fair!’ But that’s…how I really feel about it, it seems. At least sometimes. I’ll never get to do those things with him, though. And I know that.”
Resting her head against the stone wall behind her, she closed her eyes, listening to the soft rustle of her surroundings in the breeze. Seconds, minutes, perhaps even hours passed before she spoke again, but she was far from caring about the passage of time. “The scariest thing is that…I can’t remember the last time I wanted something so badly in my entire life. Not more than money or stability, not more than my thoughts not always being a screwed up, jumbled, depressed mess. I can’t remember the last time I clung to something so desperately, so tenaciously, even knowing that it was nothing more than a lost cause from the start. It seems like that’s all my heart is good for going after, though. Lost causes. Disappointments. But even if I can never be with him the way I want, the way I long for, I think I’d still settle for just being near him on the sidelines. Anything is better than not having him at all. And that desire, that longing is really the scariest thing about all of this, especially considering--”
“Nova?”
“Li!” Frantically swiping her head from side to side, as if she suspected his sudden appearance was just some kind of prank, she scrambled to her feet and patted off the dust and debris that clung to her back. “Why…are you here? Where’s Kiko?”
“I took her home…it’s getting kind of late. I should be the one asking why you’re out here, honestly.”
“It’s not really that late, is it?” Still shaking off the foggy interference in her head, Nova checked the time and the somber state of the sky. Not too late, but enough that he had every right to be suspicious about why she was out here all alone, seemingly talking to herself. “Ah, I guess time just got away from me.”
He still seemed wary, and in truth Hei was doing his best to discreetly and thoroughly dissect the situation. Just happening to find this particular person here, conversing with this particular cat, in this particular area not too far from his apartment…was something more serious going on that he just wasn’t privy to? Did he need to start worrying, or preparing for action? Although he’d already decided that he wasn’t going to make a big deal out of their acquaintance until a problem or order arose, his instincts couldn’t help putting him at least a little on edge.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” She didn’t like the way he asked that, the tender touch of genuine concern she could practically feel caressing her in his words.
“I’m fine, really,” she repeated, waving off his kindness with forced indifference. “Like I said, I just lost track of time. I was actually having a nice little chat with this cat…I know that sounds stupid, but I’ve seen him around here a lot recently, and he doesn’t seem to be afraid of humans.”
“I think he belongs to one of the tenants in my building,” Hei suggested smoothly, moving closer to give Mao a pet in the hopes of solidifying his performance. “I mean, I figure with the collar he’s got to belong to somebody. Or maybe he’s just a housecat that happened to go rogue.”
She laughed, and he smiled in spite of himself. “Well, regardless of his dark and mysterious backstory, he doesn’t bite and he lets me pet him from time to time. Plus, I figure he’s as good enough company to talk to as anyone else. Maybe even better, since he can’t say anything back.”
An awkward beat of silence passed as Hei and Mao exchanged an imperceptible glance. “Well, anyway, I guess it turns out you were right about it being late. I should probably head home. I hope you and Kiko had a nice time, too! I’m sure I’ll hear all about it from her tomorrow--”
“You don’t have to go home if you don’t want to.”
A hand snatched hers before she could put too much distance between them, shocking her system on contact. Nova exhaled another humorless breath, keeping her gaze fixed on the blank space in front of her. “Kiko’s been telling you things…hasn’t she?”
“…not everything,” Hei answered reluctantly. “Not a lot of details. I’ve actually noticed plenty of things on my own. Like the fact that you’re trembling right now--”
Jerking her hand away like his skin had been set ablaze, Nova turned on him with a gaze that put more distance between them than any amount of physical space ever could. “It’s none of your business. What I’m going through, or how I feel about it. Just worry about your girlfriend, don’t bother wasting any of that overflowing benevolence on me.”
She stalked off without another word, and he didn’t do anything to stop her. Finally hopping down from his spot on the wall, Mao flicked his tail as he faced his companion. “Surprising that she doesn’t want to talk about it, considering how loose her lips are when she decides to spill her guts to me.”
Hei didn’t even bother looking at him, and instead started making his way back to his own dwelling, as unassuming and aloof as ever. Mao trotted along beside him, feeling just confident enough to try prodding the beast at least a little bit more. “It’s not like you to turn a blind eye to a helpless citizen in need--”
“She’s right. I’m not a charity, and I don’t have any interest in being one.”
“So he says…”
Hei offered no rebuttal, and Mao figured a different approach might yield a more productive reaction. “Did you have fun with that other girl tonight? I’m surprised you didn’t bring her home.”
Enduring silence…the cat sighed in frustration. Why did everyone he worked with have to be so stubborn and sensitive, somehow simultaneously? For now, he supposed there was nothing more he could do. He wasn’t going to get anything else out of Hei, and his other wellspring of conflicted and convoluted emotions had been chased off for the night. Of course, he could always track her down if he really wanted to…but it wasn’t that important to him. He’d come across her again, sooner rather than later, he was sure.
As long as Hei was around, Mao was confident her presence wouldn’t be far behind for the extent of the foreseeable future. The inexplicable gravity that consistently pulled them back together…it seemed both parties were fairly oblivious to it, but isn’t that just how it goes? The people involved are always more oblivious than their observers, and this predicament was no exception. Despite his better judgment, though, Mao found himself wishing that they’d both open their eyes to the truth before it came crashing down around them. Before there wasn’t anything left for them in the aftermath other than collecting and repairing the broken, scattered pieces of their hearts.
Summary: From one black cat to another, Nova’s been struggling with her conflicted feelings regarding a complicated relationship she helped cultivate. Despite her better judgment, she’s adopted a routine of airing her concerns to a friendly neighborhood cat that just happens to show up every now and again.
Author’s Note: WOW this fic turned into A Lot, I really wasn’t intending for it to get this long, or even necessarily for it to take the turn it did, but…well, this selfship has been keeping me pretty busy lately. Since I don’t have an official bio typed up yet, I’ll just refer people to this post in case they’re confused where this sudden series is coming from. Also, there’s a little bit of lost context in here, mostly because I didn’t want to try fitting it in. In case it isn’t obvious through other hints, though, in this verse Nova has a complicated home life and actively tries to avoid it. This is something her friend notices and also clearly something she shows in her mannerisms and reactions, whether she’s aware of it or not. I don’t really have much more to say other than thanks for reading, and expect more material for this selfship, because it’s the absolute center of my universe right now lol.
_____
It was a mild evening, the kind she didn’t mind taking a walk in. To be completely honest, recently she’d been looking for almost any excuse to stay out of the house. Thoughts coalesced in her head like a thick fog, obscuring her understanding, overwhelming her faculties. She strode along with a simple look on her face; any common passerby wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Or perhaps they would have found the blank, empty stare unsettling. It certainly felt unsettling, the chill that set in with the fog as it seeped into her brain and bones. Normally she didn’t mind the cold, but right now…frostbite was the last thing she wanted to add to the various maladies assaulting her injured heart.
The sound of a stone chipping to the side drew her attention, and she realized she’d been joined at some point by the black cat that usually wandered this neighborhood. Stopping and stretching out her hand so he could smell her, she did what she could to present him with a smile, although she knew even her best attempt was lacking.
“Hey there, Mr. Kitty. I didn’t expect to see you around here today,” she greeted, a touch of unexpected cheeriness ringing in her voice. “Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, though, since this is where you usually roam around. I guess I’m just in a weird place in general right now.”
Nova pressed her back to the uneven stone wall, sliding down its surface until she hit the ground. The cat perched patiently above her, licking his paw and watching her with a strange gaze, almost as if he could understand her, as if he could have opened his mouth and spoken to her at any moment. Sure, there were plenty of abnormal things in this vast and unknowable world…especially considering the influence of the Gates and the catastrophic incidents that surrounded them. He narrowed his eyes, swishing his tail a few times before curling up on the spot.
The Syndicate agent had been keeping tabs on this unique young woman for a while now. Not necessarily because it was his job, or even because anyone had told him too…he was acting of his own accord. He couldn’t help suspecting that there was something notable about her, something that went beyond the existence of her powers, her bizarre state of being. Hei had already told him plenty about that, and Mao had observed as much himself.
This encounter was just another opportunity for him to investigate, to learn as much as he could beyond the scope of what he thought he understood…although recently, the things she’d been cluelessly confessing to him had become much more personal; quite awkward for him to hear. But he couldn’t blow his cover, couldn’t just come out and tell her the truth…not yet, anyway. That was too risky, too irrational, and Contractors only ever acted on the basis of their survival instincts, right? Even if he knew that wasn’t entirely true, Mao found his paws tied, and made due with his position like he always did.
“They’re on a date tonight,” Nova began, tapping her knee. It was obvious she was compelled to dive right into the confidential information he so desperately longed to avoid. “My friend, Kiko, and that other guy I told you about.”
She paused, twitching an ear as her fingers dug into the fabric of her pants. Everything about her demeanor seemed to indicate that she was hesitant to finish the thought. “You know, Li.”
Oh, if you only knew just how well I know him…Mao thought miserably. You wouldn’t be telling me any of this in the first place, and you’d wish you could take back everything you’ve already said. Lucky for you, I haven’t taken it upon myself to pass on any of the details of your tragic lovesickness, but…even you have to know things can’t keep going on like this forever.
Withholding any physical reaction, internally Mao couldn’t help but feel at least a little sympathetic for the poor girl. She never seemed to stop wandering, always aimlessly following a nonexistent path, blindly trying to steer herself in the right direction. But there was no purpose, no direction. Honestly, ever since he’d been indulging her in these sessions of embarrassing admissions, he’d just found the whole ordeal to be kind of sad. As she continued to speak, Mao prepared for the worst.
By this point he’d already heard too much, but there was no going back now. He just couldn’t seem to break this habit of immature eavesdropping he’d adapted to so readily, and he wasn’t especially tormented by any specific feelings of guilt regarding the part he was playing in the first place. In a way, he’d come to enjoy the gossip, and it gave him an excuse to keep up with her, to make sure she wasn’t secretly causing any trouble for the Syndicate or any other Contractors behind the scenes.
“I don’t know why I care,” she admittedly sheepishly, fingers locked in their inflexible grip. “I mean, I’m happy for my friend and everything. But recently…I don’t know. I just. Don’t like hearing about them hanging out together. I don’t like hearing about what they’re doing. I don’t like knowing they’re growing closer without me. It’s pretty selfish, isn’t it?”
Unfortunately, Mao could kind of sense where this conversation was headed. He’d been following this particular development ever since she’d taken it upon herself to use him as a sounding board for her ever expanding repertoire of cares and complaints. Again, he didn’t really mind. Although in the deepest recesses of his psyche he supposed he probably felt at least a little guilty about hiding the fact that he wasn’t just a passive bystander, not just your average unremarkable alleycat. Unbeknownst to her, he’d probably be leaving their little rendezvous to meet up with the very man she was lamenting about so earnestly. Hell, he interacted with the man she was so conflicted about pretty much every day. He knew him intimately, or at least as intimately as any Syndicate member could know their cohorts. It wasn’t a secret that Nova wanted to know him in that way, too. And so this dreadful, pitiable tragedy continued to play out before the cat’s very eyes.
“I keep thinking that this is what I wanted to happen, that I wanted the best for my friend. But at the same time…” A heavy silence dominated the air, smothering them both with its uncomfortable weight. “There’s just something about him. I don’t know. It’s probably just because I’m lonely, pathetic. Clinging to the first nice thing or person I happen to come across…and he’s a perfectly nice person. He has been every time I’ve interacted with him, anyway. And Kiko certainly never complains. He’s always so accommodating and pleasant. Being around him is like a breath of fresh air, but I can’t help thinking there’s something darker he’s dealing with that he hasn’t told anyone about. That he probably doesn’t want anyone to find out about. I mean, no one understands that feeling better than me.
“And I know there’s no use speculating. It’s stupid, childish. But I find myself thinking of him at the strangest of times. I find myself thinking of him a lot, actually. Passively, actively. I think I’m really starting to like him, which, of course, is already a huge red flag. But I could never hurt my friend, you know? And cheating is absolutely out of the question…that would be assuming he even sees anything worthwhile in me in the first place, which I know is equally impossible. I mean, what could he ever see in someone as worthless as me?”
The slimy, unpleasant sensation of pity stung in his veins, making Mao’s skin crawl. He only felt worse, more sympathetic towards the young woman’s complicated plight. The impulsive thought to just reveal himself had already flitted through his mind, encouraging him to blow his cover and expose everything. But he also knew how dangerous that course of action would be, and that in the end it would likely only serve to bring further ruin to them both. What could this young woman possibly gain by knowing the truth? It would probably only upset her more.
But Mao genuinely felt bad for her, and he was preoccupied more often than he would have liked by the desire to do something for her, to reassure her that she wasn’t imagining things. Or rather to point out that she wasn’t noticing the glaring signs that were there, that she’d been interpreting things all wrong from the start. Contrary to her self-degrading assumptions, she couldn’t have been further off the mark where Hei’s feelings were concerned. But how mortifying would it be for him to reveal that, to her or to Hei? How traumatizing would it turn out to be for everyone involved should he admit everything, explaining how he’d been sitting here all this time, balanced between the precarious, awkward tug of war that happened to be brutally besieging both of their hearts?
“Even knowing all of that, I can’t seem to stop myself,” Nova continued, and Mao braced himself for whatever was to follow. “From liking him, falling for him, that is. God, it’s just…so stupid.” She rubbed her forehead, but from the angle he was sitting Mao couldn’t tell if she’d also managed to discreetly wipe away any tears she may have happened to be shedding as well. The tremor in her voice made him think that his hunch was even more likely.
“Sometimes, I think about the fact that I want to be the one that gets to hug him and kiss him and hold his hand.” She exhaled a humorless laugh between words. “I sound like a whiny schoolgirl, huh? ‘I have a crush on him and it’s just not fair!’ But that’s…how I really feel about it, it seems. At least sometimes. I’ll never get to do those things with him, though. And I know that.”
Resting her head against the stone wall behind her, she closed her eyes, listening to the soft rustle of her surroundings in the breeze. Seconds, minutes, perhaps even hours passed before she spoke again, but she was far from caring about the passage of time. “The scariest thing is that…I can’t remember the last time I wanted something so badly in my entire life. Not more than money or stability, not more than my thoughts not always being a screwed up, jumbled, depressed mess. I can’t remember the last time I clung to something so desperately, so tenaciously, even knowing that it was nothing more than a lost cause from the start. It seems like that’s all my heart is good for going after, though. Lost causes. Disappointments. But even if I can never be with him the way I want, the way I long for, I think I’d still settle for just being near him on the sidelines. Anything is better than not having him at all. And that desire, that longing is really the scariest thing about all of this, especially considering--”
“Nova?”
“Li!” Frantically swiping her head from side to side, as if she suspected his sudden appearance was just some kind of prank, she scrambled to her feet and patted off the dust and debris that clung to her back. “Why…are you here? Where’s Kiko?”
“I took her home…it’s getting kind of late. I should be the one asking why you’re out here, honestly.”
“It’s not really that late, is it?” Still shaking off the foggy interference in her head, Nova checked the time and the somber state of the sky. Not too late, but enough that he had every right to be suspicious about why she was out here all alone, seemingly talking to herself. “Ah, I guess time just got away from me.”
He still seemed wary, and in truth Hei was doing his best to discreetly and thoroughly dissect the situation. Just happening to find this particular person here, conversing with this particular cat, in this particular area not too far from his apartment…was something more serious going on that he just wasn’t privy to? Did he need to start worrying, or preparing for action? Although he’d already decided that he wasn’t going to make a big deal out of their acquaintance until a problem or order arose, his instincts couldn’t help putting him at least a little on edge.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” She didn’t like the way he asked that, the tender touch of genuine concern she could practically feel caressing her in his words.
“I’m fine, really,” she repeated, waving off his kindness with forced indifference. “Like I said, I just lost track of time. I was actually having a nice little chat with this cat…I know that sounds stupid, but I’ve seen him around here a lot recently, and he doesn’t seem to be afraid of humans.”
“I think he belongs to one of the tenants in my building,” Hei suggested smoothly, moving closer to give Mao a pet in the hopes of solidifying his performance. “I mean, I figure with the collar he’s got to belong to somebody. Or maybe he’s just a housecat that happened to go rogue.”
She laughed, and he smiled in spite of himself. “Well, regardless of his dark and mysterious backstory, he doesn’t bite and he lets me pet him from time to time. Plus, I figure he’s as good enough company to talk to as anyone else. Maybe even better, since he can’t say anything back.”
An awkward beat of silence passed as Hei and Mao exchanged an imperceptible glance. “Well, anyway, I guess it turns out you were right about it being late. I should probably head home. I hope you and Kiko had a nice time, too! I’m sure I’ll hear all about it from her tomorrow--”
“You don’t have to go home if you don’t want to.”
A hand snatched hers before she could put too much distance between them, shocking her system on contact. Nova exhaled another humorless breath, keeping her gaze fixed on the blank space in front of her. “Kiko’s been telling you things…hasn’t she?”
“…not everything,” Hei answered reluctantly. “Not a lot of details. I’ve actually noticed plenty of things on my own. Like the fact that you’re trembling right now--”
Jerking her hand away like his skin had been set ablaze, Nova turned on him with a gaze that put more distance between them than any amount of physical space ever could. “It’s none of your business. What I’m going through, or how I feel about it. Just worry about your girlfriend, don’t bother wasting any of that overflowing benevolence on me.”
She stalked off without another word, and he didn’t do anything to stop her. Finally hopping down from his spot on the wall, Mao flicked his tail as he faced his companion. “Surprising that she doesn’t want to talk about it, considering how loose her lips are when she decides to spill her guts to me.”
Hei didn’t even bother looking at him, and instead started making his way back to his own dwelling, as unassuming and aloof as ever. Mao trotted along beside him, feeling just confident enough to try prodding the beast at least a little bit more. “It’s not like you to turn a blind eye to a helpless citizen in need--”
“She’s right. I’m not a charity, and I don’t have any interest in being one.”
“So he says…”
Hei offered no rebuttal, and Mao figured a different approach might yield a more productive reaction. “Did you have fun with that other girl tonight? I’m surprised you didn’t bring her home.”
Enduring silence…the cat sighed in frustration. Why did everyone he worked with have to be so stubborn and sensitive, somehow simultaneously? For now, he supposed there was nothing more he could do. He wasn’t going to get anything else out of Hei, and his other wellspring of conflicted and convoluted emotions had been chased off for the night. Of course, he could always track her down if he really wanted to…but it wasn’t that important to him. He’d come across her again, sooner rather than later, he was sure.
As long as Hei was around, Mao was confident her presence wouldn’t be far behind for the extent of the foreseeable future. The inexplicable gravity that consistently pulled them back together…it seemed both parties were fairly oblivious to it, but isn’t that just how it goes? The people involved are always more oblivious than their observers, and this predicament was no exception. Despite his better judgment, though, Mao found himself wishing that they’d both open their eyes to the truth before it came crashing down around them. Before there wasn’t anything left for them in the aftermath other than collecting and repairing the broken, scattered pieces of their hearts.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-06-25 03:09 am (UTC)I love the first few sentences here too, they paint such a good picture.
Also RIP Nova and Mao, ur spilling all the tea to him and you have no idea.. smh
This fic was really good tho, the "conversation" between Nova and Mao, the way Nova and Hei talk to each other, little lines like "An awkward beat of silence passed as Hei and Mao exchanged an imperceptible glance," and the very end "Despite his better judgment, though, Mao found himself wishing that they’d both open their eyes to the truth before it came crashing down around them. Before there wasn’t anything left for them in the aftermath other than collecting and repairing the broken, scattered pieces of their hearts," ... I really enjoyed reading it!