A Good Sign
Apr. 19th, 2019 09:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyanderenekoWord Count: 1,023
Summary: Nova and Gil reflect on their changing relationship after he helps her momentarily escape the confines of the dark, unwelcoming main estate.
*Author’s Note*: This was only supposed to be ~500 words and look how it turned out lol. I think once I got on a role describing our internal states it just…took on a life of its own. But that’s alright, it’s actually what I would prefer to happen rather than running out of things to say! Anyway, some context for this piece, 1) Gil has a house away from the Nightr@y estate, I couldn’t remember if he always lives there, but I know he does go there from time to time and he probably doesn’t prefer the estate to begin with. 2) No one likes Nova, they really resent her and the older Nightr@y’s treat her badly during her stay with them if they can get away with it. It was my understanding last time I read this series that Elliot and Leo probably weren’t at the estate when some of this stuff was happening, they were at boarding school, so they weren’t involved in her bullying. But uhhhhhh whatever my timeline for this ship is all fucked up and I just thought the idea of Gil getting her away from that atmosphere was a sweet sentiment :’) also not that it matters to anyone but 3) Echo was the one who intervened on Nova’s behalf to help her get away, because Echo’s one of my fave characters and I wanted her to be a friend lol. If I type too much more this is going to end up as long as the actual fic so I’ll sign off with a thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
He always looked so pensive when his stare was fixed on nothingness. Golden gaze glazed over, locked onto something she couldn’t see, that she probably never would. She thought she understood what it meant to transcend reality, but in the end, all she’d ever been doing was trying to claw her way into it. For someone like her, she’d never be able to understand what he was thinking. There was still so much she didn’t know about him, and maybe that was a good thing. Was it equally advantageous for him to be unacquainted with the intimate details of her past? Did she even really have one? Well, she didn’t want to think about herself right now. There was rarely a time she ever wanted to do such a thing.
The afternoon sun bathed the walls as its rays poured in through the panes he was propped against, and for a moment she thought he was caught up in observing the city below. But his eyes didn’t waver, never betraying any evidence that they were following or examining any of the happenings playing out in the city’s narrow streets. She glanced around the apartment, taking in the bare walls and stale air that still lingered with the faintest traces of smoke. When he came here alone, was it a relief for him, or a grim reminder of everything he wanted to forget? So much conjecturing, she knew she didn’t have any right to speculate about him in any capacity. Did he ever wonder similar things about her? She’d never know the answer to that, either, and it wasn’t like she cared to…she shouldn’t have, anyway.
She wanted to find a way to thank him, but she lacked even a hint for where to begin. She didn’t actually need to; it wasn’t like he was going to hold any perceived absence of gratitude against her. But beneath the silent façade of strength, stoicism, apathy, she could tell that he shouldered more burdens than she could possibly imagine. Not just the scar that’d been sliced across his torso, but a wealth of invisible demons that no doubt tortured him from day to day. She wasn’t supposed to care about him, there was no benefit in it for either of them. But she still found herself wishing he wouldn’t feel sad, or alone. Despite the way he saw her, treated her, she still found something admirable, desirable in him. Perhaps such sentimentality was just another part of the price of being human.
He’d allowed her to stay here, brought her to this place seemingly on a whim, and she wanted him to know that she appreciated his kindness. Nova was unaware that the true drive behind his action had been stirred by the interference of someone that was on her side. This individual had taken it upon themselves to inform him of the less than pleasant state of her current living conditions at the estate. No one would have been the wiser had this person not come across her when she was supposed to be alone. The heads of the estate, and really anyone that knew they could get away with it, felt no remorse in telling and showing her exactly how highly they thought of her when they came across her on her own. How truly honored they were to have her staying with them, to have her foist upon them without any proper warning or consideration. She’d thought that Gil was no different, and he’d certainly never treated her as a friend, but…he’d taken her away from that place. Even with his own resentment towards her, he’d brought her somewhere safe. And as harsh as his words or expressions may be, he’d never once treated her in the same cruel fashion as the others.
What could she do to free him from the dark, disagreeable place he found himself in when his face reflected that lonely expression? Was it even her place to wonder? She was going to, whether it was or not, it seemed. Even if he didn’t want her help and rejected her aid or attempted kindness at every turn, she was starting to think she’d continue to offer him her sympathies anyway. He hadn’t asked her if she’d wanted to leave the estate, she wasn’t even sure if he’d received proper clearance to remove her. He’d stopped caring about the consequences of such actions long ago, once he’d realized the sting of admonishment rarely fazed him. If that was the case, why had he bothered helping her? There would surely be no penalty to him if he were to ignore her like everyone else, or exploit her, or punish her.
But there was a part of him that had started to become attached to this abandoned soul, the one that had filled him with nothing but contempt the first time he’d laid eyes on her. The longer he spent in her company, the more he started to view her as a person worth protecting. Worth caring about. He couldn’t keep his thoughts from straying to that particular train of thought this afternoon, not even a week since he’d abducted her to his private residence. A home away from home where he could breathe his own air, where he could take a break from the distressing responsibilities he’d been forced to harbor for years.
Perhaps he was just unhappy and in want of another soul by his side, just to fill the space. One that didn’t make his insides twist with disdain and disgust. He was sure that when he’d first encountered her, he did feel those things. But now when he looked at her, all he saw was a timid girl overwhelmed with uncertainty, confident that there was no place in this world for her to belong. It reminded him of himself and stirred him with a feeling he was sure he hadn’t felt in ages, if he’d ever felt it at all. That couldn’t be a good sign of things to come…or maybe it was the first good sign either of them had come across in quite a long while.
Summary: Nova and Gil reflect on their changing relationship after he helps her momentarily escape the confines of the dark, unwelcoming main estate.
*Author’s Note*: This was only supposed to be ~500 words and look how it turned out lol. I think once I got on a role describing our internal states it just…took on a life of its own. But that’s alright, it’s actually what I would prefer to happen rather than running out of things to say! Anyway, some context for this piece, 1) Gil has a house away from the Nightr@y estate, I couldn’t remember if he always lives there, but I know he does go there from time to time and he probably doesn’t prefer the estate to begin with. 2) No one likes Nova, they really resent her and the older Nightr@y’s treat her badly during her stay with them if they can get away with it. It was my understanding last time I read this series that Elliot and Leo probably weren’t at the estate when some of this stuff was happening, they were at boarding school, so they weren’t involved in her bullying. But uhhhhhh whatever my timeline for this ship is all fucked up and I just thought the idea of Gil getting her away from that atmosphere was a sweet sentiment :’) also not that it matters to anyone but 3) Echo was the one who intervened on Nova’s behalf to help her get away, because Echo’s one of my fave characters and I wanted her to be a friend lol. If I type too much more this is going to end up as long as the actual fic so I’ll sign off with a thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
_____
He always looked so pensive when his stare was fixed on nothingness. Golden gaze glazed over, locked onto something she couldn’t see, that she probably never would. She thought she understood what it meant to transcend reality, but in the end, all she’d ever been doing was trying to claw her way into it. For someone like her, she’d never be able to understand what he was thinking. There was still so much she didn’t know about him, and maybe that was a good thing. Was it equally advantageous for him to be unacquainted with the intimate details of her past? Did she even really have one? Well, she didn’t want to think about herself right now. There was rarely a time she ever wanted to do such a thing.
The afternoon sun bathed the walls as its rays poured in through the panes he was propped against, and for a moment she thought he was caught up in observing the city below. But his eyes didn’t waver, never betraying any evidence that they were following or examining any of the happenings playing out in the city’s narrow streets. She glanced around the apartment, taking in the bare walls and stale air that still lingered with the faintest traces of smoke. When he came here alone, was it a relief for him, or a grim reminder of everything he wanted to forget? So much conjecturing, she knew she didn’t have any right to speculate about him in any capacity. Did he ever wonder similar things about her? She’d never know the answer to that, either, and it wasn’t like she cared to…she shouldn’t have, anyway.
She wanted to find a way to thank him, but she lacked even a hint for where to begin. She didn’t actually need to; it wasn’t like he was going to hold any perceived absence of gratitude against her. But beneath the silent façade of strength, stoicism, apathy, she could tell that he shouldered more burdens than she could possibly imagine. Not just the scar that’d been sliced across his torso, but a wealth of invisible demons that no doubt tortured him from day to day. She wasn’t supposed to care about him, there was no benefit in it for either of them. But she still found herself wishing he wouldn’t feel sad, or alone. Despite the way he saw her, treated her, she still found something admirable, desirable in him. Perhaps such sentimentality was just another part of the price of being human.
He’d allowed her to stay here, brought her to this place seemingly on a whim, and she wanted him to know that she appreciated his kindness. Nova was unaware that the true drive behind his action had been stirred by the interference of someone that was on her side. This individual had taken it upon themselves to inform him of the less than pleasant state of her current living conditions at the estate. No one would have been the wiser had this person not come across her when she was supposed to be alone. The heads of the estate, and really anyone that knew they could get away with it, felt no remorse in telling and showing her exactly how highly they thought of her when they came across her on her own. How truly honored they were to have her staying with them, to have her foist upon them without any proper warning or consideration. She’d thought that Gil was no different, and he’d certainly never treated her as a friend, but…he’d taken her away from that place. Even with his own resentment towards her, he’d brought her somewhere safe. And as harsh as his words or expressions may be, he’d never once treated her in the same cruel fashion as the others.
What could she do to free him from the dark, disagreeable place he found himself in when his face reflected that lonely expression? Was it even her place to wonder? She was going to, whether it was or not, it seemed. Even if he didn’t want her help and rejected her aid or attempted kindness at every turn, she was starting to think she’d continue to offer him her sympathies anyway. He hadn’t asked her if she’d wanted to leave the estate, she wasn’t even sure if he’d received proper clearance to remove her. He’d stopped caring about the consequences of such actions long ago, once he’d realized the sting of admonishment rarely fazed him. If that was the case, why had he bothered helping her? There would surely be no penalty to him if he were to ignore her like everyone else, or exploit her, or punish her.
But there was a part of him that had started to become attached to this abandoned soul, the one that had filled him with nothing but contempt the first time he’d laid eyes on her. The longer he spent in her company, the more he started to view her as a person worth protecting. Worth caring about. He couldn’t keep his thoughts from straying to that particular train of thought this afternoon, not even a week since he’d abducted her to his private residence. A home away from home where he could breathe his own air, where he could take a break from the distressing responsibilities he’d been forced to harbor for years.
Perhaps he was just unhappy and in want of another soul by his side, just to fill the space. One that didn’t make his insides twist with disdain and disgust. He was sure that when he’d first encountered her, he did feel those things. But now when he looked at her, all he saw was a timid girl overwhelmed with uncertainty, confident that there was no place in this world for her to belong. It reminded him of himself and stirred him with a feeling he was sure he hadn’t felt in ages, if he’d ever felt it at all. That couldn’t be a good sign of things to come…or maybe it was the first good sign either of them had come across in quite a long while.
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Date: 2019-09-12 12:47 am (UTC)