Here and Now
Oct. 14th, 2019 08:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nyanderenekoWord Count: 1,171
Summary: Desair reflects on the influence Nova has had on him since she’s come into his life, and it’s a more significant and confusing one than he originally anticipated. More than that, he realizes that there’s really nothing that could happen to make him regret knowing her, or the circumstances they find themselves sharing in the present. The happiness of the here and now is what he wants to focus on…and hopefully he’ll be able to do just that.
*Author’s Note*: Ran out of steam a little bit for this week but I’m going to valiantly attempt to press on! This is a simple introspective piece that came out of nowhere, taking place in the faerie verse rather than the one I first developed for this ship. It wasn’t something I was planning on writing but after I did I decided to keep it because I liked it so much.
To be in love with an immortal…he was confident most people wouldn’t consider that a very auspicious situation to find themselves in. It wasn’t exactly hard to see why, where such people with better instincts of self preservation than him were coming from. Part of him didn’t want to bother looking past the present. Delving into the complicated tangle of the unknown future seemed more like a chore, or just a pain. If he was happy in the here and now, what was the point of worrying about the difficulties he was sure to face down the road? Even if things got unbearable, he was confident there was nothing that could make him wish he’d never met her.
The first time he realized his thoughts straying in such a direction, he’d had to physically pause and confront himself. He didn’t have a fever or any overtly obvious physical symptoms, but perhaps a proper physical exam would be able to determine details about his health that he just wasn’t skilled enough to detect on his own. At the same time, he suspected there was no need to go through the trouble of trying to get one, though. He knew himself well enough to understand that these symptoms and thoughts were a personal reflection, nothing more. Evidence of the confusing and mildly worrisome feelings that were already starting to cloud his generally decent judgement.
What was it about her that drew him in so much in the first place? He may not have had much experience with this type of situation, or the emotions that came with it, but he wasn’t entirely averse to or unaware of them either. Always wrapped up in his own affairs, his professional duties, he’d never really dedicated much serious thought to the matter of finding someone that meant something to him…like she did. His thoughts hadn’t even consciously diverted in that direction since their first encounter. Maybe this was just his concerned conscience talking.
He stopped in the doorway and just watched her, letting the pieces fall into place. She was still unaware of his presence, and he took the opportunity to really pick apart his feelings. An unfamiliar, but far from unpleasant warmth swallowed him up, making his limbs tingle. He was calm, content, but also distracted by the slightest twinge of anxiety and unease. If something were to happen to her, if she were to disappear, to suddenly vanish from his life forever…she would leave a void; it was undeniable. Somehow, she’d settled in a previously neglected corner of his heart, dusting it off and making herself at home as if it’d been made just for her. Perhaps it really was. Carving out a space for herself and imbuing him with a desire, a need he wasn’t sure he would ever know what to do with.
Hair as dark as the night sky, skin infused with glittering constellations, eyes that danced with experience and an understanding of the world that he would probably never be able to experience himself. As impossible as her perspective was to comprehend, she’d put her own hardships behind her to try walking a few steps in his shoes, or at least see things from where he stood. He’d never expected her to accept a proposition like that, much less be the one to suggest it herself. But she had, and he’d accepted…and things hadn’t been the same since.
Believing and heeding the warnings that’d been repeated to him since childhood, he knew the risks that immortals posed, and the burning vengeance that could reside within them. But he’d held a similar fire of resentment in his heart for years as well, and wasn’t entirely convinced he couldn’t just reason with one of them in the event that they were ever unfortunate enough to cross each other’s paths. She’d done all the work for him, though, insisting that she was both interested and eager to experience his world, and hopeful that he would be the one to introduce her to it. Having someone, especially someone like her, request such a thing from him…it turned his world upside down, and he still wasn’t sure how to adequately process it.
The mysterious feeling she had stirred in him, strong and enigmatic, was a perplexing combination of peace and bewilderment. If he couldn’t figure it out any better than that, he assumed he had an equally hopeless chance of removing it successfully. The positive effects were just potent enough to dissuade him from that line of thinking, anyway. He didn’t want to lose this sensation, the soothing influence of her presence. He liked to believe he was competent enough to recognize if she was the one orchestrating all of this. If she was projecting something to consume and control him, to infect him with this condition as part of some devious master plan she had to subdue his malleable mortal mind.
But it really felt like most of this was originating from within, and that if he had the conviction or will, he could put a stop to it whenever he liked. As he stood there, leaning against the doorframe, examining her visage as she went about her business while remaining oblivious to him, he was reminded of just how much he didn’t want to fight any of this. Even if everything ended in disaster, if the world shattered around him and there wasn’t enough of him left to even try picking up the pieces, the pleasantness he enjoyed now was worth it. He wanted to cherish this time, these moments, and appreciate the fact that she’d come into his life in the first place. She certainly wasn’t the type to bother wasting her valuable thoughts and time on such trivialities. And although the nature of her position probably made all of that infinitely easier, he supposed it might not be so bad to try to experience things from her perspective.
“How long have you been standing there?”
He’d let his mind wander too long, and had to scramble to piece some measure of coherency back together. “Uh, not long. Sorry, I was just…distracted.”
“You can come and be distracted in here if you’d prefer,” she suggested playfully, and the nonchalance with which she addressed him fed the flame in his heart. Trust, admiration, familiarity…he knew it didn’t matter what she was. He was captivated by the person standing before him, and no other being, not even another immortal like her, could possibly replace her.
“Right. I guess…you’re right,” he answered before taking her advice, doing his best to put the whirlwind of thoughts to rest. Yes, there really was no use in overwhelming himself with questions of what was to come, or what the right or wrong actions to take were. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the sensations, to share in the fleeting happiness they shared as it persisted, moment to moment. That was the best he could do for himself…and surely the best her could offer her, too.
Summary: Desair reflects on the influence Nova has had on him since she’s come into his life, and it’s a more significant and confusing one than he originally anticipated. More than that, he realizes that there’s really nothing that could happen to make him regret knowing her, or the circumstances they find themselves sharing in the present. The happiness of the here and now is what he wants to focus on…and hopefully he’ll be able to do just that.
*Author’s Note*: Ran out of steam a little bit for this week but I’m going to valiantly attempt to press on! This is a simple introspective piece that came out of nowhere, taking place in the faerie verse rather than the one I first developed for this ship. It wasn’t something I was planning on writing but after I did I decided to keep it because I liked it so much.
_____
To be in love with an immortal…he was confident most people wouldn’t consider that a very auspicious situation to find themselves in. It wasn’t exactly hard to see why, where such people with better instincts of self preservation than him were coming from. Part of him didn’t want to bother looking past the present. Delving into the complicated tangle of the unknown future seemed more like a chore, or just a pain. If he was happy in the here and now, what was the point of worrying about the difficulties he was sure to face down the road? Even if things got unbearable, he was confident there was nothing that could make him wish he’d never met her.
The first time he realized his thoughts straying in such a direction, he’d had to physically pause and confront himself. He didn’t have a fever or any overtly obvious physical symptoms, but perhaps a proper physical exam would be able to determine details about his health that he just wasn’t skilled enough to detect on his own. At the same time, he suspected there was no need to go through the trouble of trying to get one, though. He knew himself well enough to understand that these symptoms and thoughts were a personal reflection, nothing more. Evidence of the confusing and mildly worrisome feelings that were already starting to cloud his generally decent judgement.
What was it about her that drew him in so much in the first place? He may not have had much experience with this type of situation, or the emotions that came with it, but he wasn’t entirely averse to or unaware of them either. Always wrapped up in his own affairs, his professional duties, he’d never really dedicated much serious thought to the matter of finding someone that meant something to him…like she did. His thoughts hadn’t even consciously diverted in that direction since their first encounter. Maybe this was just his concerned conscience talking.
He stopped in the doorway and just watched her, letting the pieces fall into place. She was still unaware of his presence, and he took the opportunity to really pick apart his feelings. An unfamiliar, but far from unpleasant warmth swallowed him up, making his limbs tingle. He was calm, content, but also distracted by the slightest twinge of anxiety and unease. If something were to happen to her, if she were to disappear, to suddenly vanish from his life forever…she would leave a void; it was undeniable. Somehow, she’d settled in a previously neglected corner of his heart, dusting it off and making herself at home as if it’d been made just for her. Perhaps it really was. Carving out a space for herself and imbuing him with a desire, a need he wasn’t sure he would ever know what to do with.
Hair as dark as the night sky, skin infused with glittering constellations, eyes that danced with experience and an understanding of the world that he would probably never be able to experience himself. As impossible as her perspective was to comprehend, she’d put her own hardships behind her to try walking a few steps in his shoes, or at least see things from where he stood. He’d never expected her to accept a proposition like that, much less be the one to suggest it herself. But she had, and he’d accepted…and things hadn’t been the same since.
Believing and heeding the warnings that’d been repeated to him since childhood, he knew the risks that immortals posed, and the burning vengeance that could reside within them. But he’d held a similar fire of resentment in his heart for years as well, and wasn’t entirely convinced he couldn’t just reason with one of them in the event that they were ever unfortunate enough to cross each other’s paths. She’d done all the work for him, though, insisting that she was both interested and eager to experience his world, and hopeful that he would be the one to introduce her to it. Having someone, especially someone like her, request such a thing from him…it turned his world upside down, and he still wasn’t sure how to adequately process it.
The mysterious feeling she had stirred in him, strong and enigmatic, was a perplexing combination of peace and bewilderment. If he couldn’t figure it out any better than that, he assumed he had an equally hopeless chance of removing it successfully. The positive effects were just potent enough to dissuade him from that line of thinking, anyway. He didn’t want to lose this sensation, the soothing influence of her presence. He liked to believe he was competent enough to recognize if she was the one orchestrating all of this. If she was projecting something to consume and control him, to infect him with this condition as part of some devious master plan she had to subdue his malleable mortal mind.
But it really felt like most of this was originating from within, and that if he had the conviction or will, he could put a stop to it whenever he liked. As he stood there, leaning against the doorframe, examining her visage as she went about her business while remaining oblivious to him, he was reminded of just how much he didn’t want to fight any of this. Even if everything ended in disaster, if the world shattered around him and there wasn’t enough of him left to even try picking up the pieces, the pleasantness he enjoyed now was worth it. He wanted to cherish this time, these moments, and appreciate the fact that she’d come into his life in the first place. She certainly wasn’t the type to bother wasting her valuable thoughts and time on such trivialities. And although the nature of her position probably made all of that infinitely easier, he supposed it might not be so bad to try to experience things from her perspective.
“How long have you been standing there?”
He’d let his mind wander too long, and had to scramble to piece some measure of coherency back together. “Uh, not long. Sorry, I was just…distracted.”
“You can come and be distracted in here if you’d prefer,” she suggested playfully, and the nonchalance with which she addressed him fed the flame in his heart. Trust, admiration, familiarity…he knew it didn’t matter what she was. He was captivated by the person standing before him, and no other being, not even another immortal like her, could possibly replace her.
“Right. I guess…you’re right,” he answered before taking her advice, doing his best to put the whirlwind of thoughts to rest. Yes, there really was no use in overwhelming himself with questions of what was to come, or what the right or wrong actions to take were. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the sensations, to share in the fleeting happiness they shared as it persisted, moment to moment. That was the best he could do for himself…and surely the best her could offer her, too.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-10-17 12:03 am (UTC)This boy's in over his head lol